1. Tonka Trucks vs. Barbie Dolls
I’ll be honest, as a mom, I would have much rather played Barbie dolls than Tonka trucks. Barbie dolls don’t require any bashing of things, flying off cliffs, blowing up, or loud and obnoxious engine noises. You can’t brush the hair of army men; you can’t change their outfits, only their weapons. Nerf gun bullets would be found in the strangest places and Lego pieces always seemed to multiply overnight.
2. Boys Don’t Require Bras
When it comes to maintenance, boys definitely win my mom vote. Boy’s haircuts; $20.00. Girl’s haircuts? Yeah right! Try a wash, cut, highlight, dry and style; $120.00. Boy’s toiletries usually consist of razors, shaving cream, acne pads, deodorant and perhaps some hair gel. Girls require bras with matching panties, tampons, acne wash, acne cream, foundation, lipstick, eye liner, hair gel, hair spray, a flat iron, nail polish, and earrings in every shape and color, just to name a few (shall I keep going?!). Shower and prep time for boys will typically run about 7 minutes. Girls? About an hour and a half, and that’s on a ‘good hair day’.
3. We’re Out of Milk Again?!
Just when I’ve got moms excited with the idea that raising boys is less expensive, I’m about to burst their bubble. Having boys, especially during their teenage years, will literally double the grocery bill. When they are little, we stress to them the importance of eating all their food. “It will make you big and strong”, we tell them. Years later, we will find ourselves asking them not to eat all the food! I have woken up many, many mornings to empty milk jugs and half eaten cereal boxes from my son’s late night snacking.
4. Hello Hospital
Let’s face it; boys are not prissy when it comes to climbing roof tops or jumping bike ramps. It seems to be in their nature to try these devilish tricks without putting forth a single thought of logic beforehand. I know our hearts sink just thinking about it, but the nearest doctor’s office or hospital may become our home away from home. A mom of boys will be no stranger to broken bones and stitches.
5. For the Love of Bugs
Most of us moms think of a new family pet as a fluffy kitten or a playful pup. Well, let’s just scratch that idea right now. I think a boy’s first and favorite pet will be the ones we don’t welcome into our home. If it’s ugly and creepy, they want our Tupperware containers to keep it in by their bedside. If we want to hit it with a fly swatter, they want to name it and love it. From ants to worms, beetles to spiders, these critters will habitat your home, like it or not.
6. Boys Don’t Whine- They Throw Punches
Boys in general tend to be less dramatic. They aren’t too whiney or overly emotional. They’d rather kick up some karate moves or throw punches before they’d yell or cry. My sons and I bond by wrestling around the kitchen. They hang out with their friends by pile driving each other on the trampoline or playing tackle football in the yard. We spend nights together watching “The Walking Dead”, not “The Notebook”.
7. Boys Are the Biggest Teasers, but the Best Protectors
I remember getting my first pair of cowgirl boots last year. I was super excited because I always wanted a pair, but a little uncomfortable too as I was new to this type of style. So I paraded around my son’s room in my boots and matching western shirt, hoping to get his thoughts. I knew he disapproved when he started to laugh and then belted out a twangy, voice crackling country song. On the other hand though, my son wouldn’t hesitate to have my back the minute someone started tossing around “Your Momma” jokes. My boys can tease each other and their little sisters from sun up to sun down, but no one else better even think of trying that; mess with the bull, get the horns!
8. What Was Your Name Again?!
Ever since they got their own room and a video game console, I don’t see much of my teenage boys anymore. They only come out for something to eat, and if I’m lucky, I’ll get a “what’s up?!” as they pass through to the kitchen. I tease them by sarcastically asking, “What was your name again?”, as if it’s been ages since I’ve seen them last! I’ll go up to their room to chat for a little while or take them out for ice cream, but I have to respect their age now and know they want their privacy. Being a mom of boys truly is a blessing, but it comes with many ups and downs. They will love us, they will hate us, but through it all, it’s still the most amazing experience in the world. They will always be our bug collecting and karate kicking little boys, no matter how grown they are.
